Fix Me
by ohmygodagiantrock
Summary: Sequel to Something To Hold Onto. Prideshipping. TW: depression, self-harm. A year into the new relationship, Atem's isn't managing his illness without incident. When someone new sets their eyes on Seto and threatens to come between the pair, Atem has to learn to survive his depression himself, and find a reason to matter on his own.
1. Another Waste Of My Heart

"We're sorry," the automated woman's voice chimed in monotone, "The number you are trying to reach is not available or has been disconnected. Goodbye."

Seto hung up his phone and slipped it back into his jacket pocket.

He knew he'd get the same message he'd been getting for the past three days, but he still had to try.

Seto retrieved his set of keys from his pocket and fished for the apartment key. He hadn't bothered to knock, but this wouldn't have been the first time he came in without announcing himself. He frowned at the Blue Eyes White Dragon key chain. But he let it hang by its teeth while he slipped the key into the lock.

He remembered that even a year ago, even when Atem was prepared to take his life, the dragon had made him laugh. Seto wished all he needed to hear Atem laugh again was something so simple.

The inside of the apartment was more worthy of Seto's frown. While he was used to a little mess here and there when Atem had been living with Yugi in too small of a space, and their friends would frequent and trash the place, Atem on his own tried to be neat.

Seto had to push a laundry basket of clothes he couldn't assume were clean out of his way before he could even enter the apartment. He made his way through the tiny, dim apartment until he reached the bedroom. The door hung halfway open.

"Is your phone shut off because you haven't been paying your bill?" Seto asked as a way to announce himself.

Atem responded by pulling the blankets closer to his chin.

"What happened to that day job you had? Are you still going?"

Just when it looked like Atem wasn't going to answer, he finally shook his head.

"It didn't work out," he explained in a voice so hoarse Seto wondered if this was the first time he had spoken during the day.

"I'm not letting you go through this again," Seto said as he pulled Atem's bed sheets back.

Seto frowned at the sight of Atem, fully dressed in what he could only assume were the clothes he wore the day before. Even a year ago, at least Atem was willing to borrow pajamas meant for Seto to sleep in when he had nothing.

"You're not even going to bother changing your clothes before you go to sleep?"

He wore a black t-shirt and dark jeans, which couldn't have been much more comfortable than his other staple, his leather pants.

"Leave me alone. I didn't invite you over."

"I know. You haven't invited me over all week. That's how I knew something was up. Come on, you're getting up."

Seto waited for movement or compliance, or at least a response, but Atem remained still and silent, until Seto reached down and nudged his elbow.

"Give me one good reason," he groaned, withdrawing his arm from Seto's reach.

Atem then gave a weak attempt to wrestle the blankets back from Seto, but the man held fast and Atem gave up. He rolled over, his back to Seto, and curled up without the blankets. He hid his head under his pillow.

"Because I'm over here," Seto offered, even taking a step back from the bed.

"That's your fault."

Seto sighed and checked his watch. He was glad he had cleared his afternoon schedule for this.

"Fine. You're clearly not up for this."

Atem dragged the pillow off his head, but the action seem to take up the rest of his energy to move. He flopped back onto the pillow and closed his eyes.

"Please don't leave," he said barely above a whisper.

"Don't be an idiot. I'm not leaving."

"I'm not an idiot," Atem said at the same volume, as if he were too tired to raise his voice any higher.

Seto placed a knee on the bed and leaned over Atem, placing a gentle kiss on his forehead.

"I know you're not," Seto whispered in his ear.

Atem's eyes closed more tightly but the corners of his frown softened enough that, if he hadn't been feeling so miserable Seto was sure he would have smiled at the gesture.

"I can't leave when you're like this," Seto added as he pulled off his business jacket. "You're not safe here by yourself."

Atem seemed to have nothing to say to this, or if he did he did not possess the motivation to say it out loud.

Seto was quiet a moment while he looked for a place to hang his coat in the bedroom of his boyfriend's apartment. However, all of the hooks on the coat rack in the corner were full with clothes that probably should have gone into the laundry days ago. Even the hook on the back of his door held some shopping bags Seto hoped hadn't had any food in them, because they had probably been there for some time.

He settled for folding the jacket in quarters and setting it on the bedside table, after moving several protein bar wrappers and a few empty—rather, _mostly_ empty—soda cans. He was glad he hadn't worn his white suit to work today, in case there had been any sugary spills or chocolate crumbs that had never been wiped up.

_At least he's eating_, Seto thought. He removed his necktie next and laid it atop his suit coat, pulled out his cufflinks and slipped out of his shoes.

"I have one weapon in my repertoire these days that I did not have during the weekend you were staying with me in the mountains last year."

"What?" Atem asked, sounding barely interested, but at least he had answered.

"I can do this."

Seto unbuttoned the collar of his shirt and rolled up his sleeves. He climbed onto the bed, wishing—not for the first time—that it wasn't so small, and pulled the covers over them both. He pulled Atem close to him.

Atem did the rest, turning around to face Seto and laying his head on his shoulder.

"No, you wouldn't have done this last year," Atem mumbled into Seto's shirt. "I wish you would have, though."

"I wish I'd thought of it. We could have made better use of the first weekend we ever spent alone, rather than being at each other's throats the whole time."

"Right up until we were no longer alone. And by then it was time to leave."

Atem fell silent and Seto allowed him to have his rest and comfort.

They laid together, under the covers with their clothes on, for over an hour. Neither had fallen asleep, but neither spoke.

Seto's phone had buzzed, helping him keep track of the time. Atem might not be up for much, but Seto still needed to eat, and Atem likely did as well. He began running through his options of getting food into the apartment without taking the time away from laying together just to cook.

"We need to talk," Seto said, after sitting up and silencing his phone.

"I don't want to talk."

"I think talking might help you feel better."

Atem pulled away and laid on his pillow, still facing Seto.

"You want to end this, don't you?" Atem asked. His eyes were glassy. "I'm too much work for you. I understand. Who wants to babysit their own boyfriend, anyway?"

"I'm not the one who wants to end anything. That's you. I already told you, I'm not leaving." He leaned in and planted another kiss on his forehead. "I'm not going anywhere."

Atem did smile this time, for the first time Seto had seen in a while.

* * *

Unable to get Atem to open up, Seto re-dressed himself and left Atem in his bedroom. He returned to the living area so he could wait for the delivery of the dinner he had ordered from a local restaurant. He busied himself with cleaning up the clutter from the living quarters of the apartment, and clearing off the dining room table as best he could, so they would have a place to eat that wasn't the sofa.

Seto glanced at the sofa. Even if he wanted to be so lazy as to eat like a slob on a piece of furniture meant for sitting, it was actually the messiest area of the apartment that Seto could see.

Atem stepped out of his bedroom with a fleece blanket wrapped around his shoulders.

"Aren't you warm? It's spring," Seto said, as if he needed a reminder of the season.

Atem ignored the question.

"You said you were coming right back. What are you doing?"

As Atem asked, he looked around his apartment and then up at Seto. Atem seemed to shrink into his blanket as he realized Seto had begun his cleaning for him.

"I didn't ask you to help me."

"Your phone is turned off. Did you pay your bill?"

Atem shrugged.

"I thought buying food seemed more important."

Seto frowned. "Are you behind on rent?"

"Not yet," Atem answered in a way that suggested he might be before long.

"I know I promised I would try to stay out of your finances, but I'd like to know what the status of your savings account is."

"I never had one."

"I thought we talked about that. I told you it would be important."

"We did. But at the time I didn't have enough to put away. Then the tournament season ended, and since then…" he trailed off with a shrug.

"Sit down," Seto gestured to the dining table. "Tell me what happened with your job."

"I quit," Atem answered without moving. "Or, rather, they threatened to fire me if I didn't come in." He shrugged again. "I didn't come in."

Seto pursed his lips to hide his frown. As an employer, he would have fired Atem, too. _Not Atem_, he thought, _but anyone else acting the way he might_.

"Listen, I know you didn't ask me to help you. But I will always make myself available. In case you've forgotten and need a reminder," Seto said, stepping up to Atem and pulling the blanket off his shoulders, replacing it with his own arms, "You matter to me."

Seto leaned down and kissed the Egyptian's lips, but pulled away quickly. He hoped it wasn't too obvious.

He realized it must have been the first time he'd kissed Atem on the mouth since arriving. He wondered how long it had been since Atem had bothered to brush his teeth, but Seto could tell he hadn't in a while even with their mouths closed.

Not wanting to embarrass Atem further by drawing attention to his lack of recent hygiene—he could also tell by the way his perfectly kept hair had become scraggly that he hadn't showered in some time—Seto stepped back, helped him into a seat at the table and said nothing.

"You even washed it," Atem mumbled, wiping a finger over the glass table top of the round table.

"It had water rings on it," Seto responded as he slipped into the attached kitchen, not bothering to mention the crumbs and dust he wiped up.

Dinner was set to arrive any minute, and Seto couldn't find any dishes that didn't need to be washed by hand before they could even go into the dishwasher. Instead he rummaged through the cabinets where Atem usually kept a stack of paper plates, but found none.

He checked the overflowing garbage bag to see it filled with them, and sighed. He should have made time to come over before it got this bad.

"What are you doing now?" Atem asked.

"I'm looking for plates, but I don't see any we can use right now."

Seto returned to the dining room and took the seat beside Atem.

"I don't think I have any. I've been eating meal replacement bars lately because I don't have the energy to cook."

"It's fine. I ordered sandwiches. We can use napkins. I know you probably would have liked a hot meal, but, to be honest I suspected that this might happen."

"I know, I should just run the dishwasher." Atem looked over his shoulder toward the kitchen, even though he couldn't see in through the doorway from where he sat. "But by now…"

"If it felt like too much to take care of before," Seto explained, "I'm certain it's overwhelming by now. I understand."

Atem's eyes, which had looked glassy before, had started to turn red, and he blinked as if fighting his emotions. Finally he gave up and squeezed them shut, and slumped over onto Seto's shoulder.

"Why does everything feel so hard?" he asked hoarsely.

"You've been fighting your battle magnificently for a year now. You've just hit a low point recently. It's nothing you can't bounce back from. I promise."

"When was the last time you slept over?"

Seto paused, thinking back. "Two months ago? Your bed's too small for us both, or I might spent the night more often."

"A bigger bed won't fit in my room," Atem said, wiping at his cheek with force, as though the moisture offended him.

"But you've spent the night at my place since then."

"Not in weeks. I'm not making time for you, and I don't even have a job. You run a company, and yet you're here, making time to clean up my mess and feed me. It must be like having a pet. Why are you wasting your time with me?"

Seto took Atem's hand and interlaced their fingers.

"I just answered that inquiry. My time with you is not wasted. And do not try to insinuate that you are an animal ever again."

"But, why do I matter to you? I barely matter to myself."

The doorbell rang, and Seto eased Atem off his shoulder.

"You just do," he said, standing. "Let that be reason enough, and stop doubting me."

Seto answered the door and retrieved his wallet to pay, but paused when he looked up at the face of the man holding out the bag of sandwiches.

The man looked just as surprised at Seto was.

"Shut up, Moneybags," Jounouchi barked with a glare before Seto even opened his mouth. "I had to take this job for extra cash." But when his eyes drifted to the messy living room behind Seto, Jou tilted his head.

"Is the restaurant hiring?" Seto responded as he took the bag and handed Jounouchi his card to scan.

Jou narrowed his eyes, his apparent confusion not fading.

"Why?"

"Because I know someone who could use a job," he said in a low tone.

"Who?" Jou asked with a straight face.

Seto nodded his head toward the dining room, well aware that it was not in line of sight from the front door.

Jou glanced up at the number nailed to the door, then his eyes widened.

"Oh. I shoulda known this was his place when I saw the address. Guess that makes sense why you're here."

Seto frowned. "You're either very focused on your job, or not paying attention at all. I can't tell which."

He scanned Seto's card on a device he pulled from his shirt pocket, punched some buttons, and handed the card back.

"I'm just tryin' to keep to my schedule tonight. I thought he already had a gig. Wasn't he working at the arcade?"

"Apparently not anymore."

"Too bad. I really thought he'd like it there. You don't think he'd go for a job like this, do you?" Jou flicked the visor of the hat he wore, which matched his bright red shirt.

"If it gets him out of bed a few days a week, it will have served its purpose."

"It's boring," Jou shrugged, "but it's easy money."

"He could use something simple. An easy win would be good for him right now."

"I guess I could ask the manager if we need more people on the team. We're gettin' a little busy. If he give the thumbs up I'll bring him an app."

"That would be appreciated."

"Is… is he okay?" Jounouchi flashed another glance at the living room, but Seto let the door close a fraction and he looked away.

"Not really. Have you spoken with him lately?"

"Nah. Can't get through on his phone, and Yug' said he's not really welcoming anyone over right now. Keeps the door locked. Guess I can see why," he added quietly.

"You know he's spoken to Yugi lately?"

"He pops into the Turtle every now and then, so I hear. Sometimes I get to see him. It's been a while, though. I should try to stay in touch better."

"He could use the support."

"I bet. Is he here?"

"He is, but I don't think he wants to be seen in his current state."

"What about you, then?" Jounouchi accused. "How come he'll see you but not me?"

Seto flashed his key. "In short, I didn't ask."

"Ooh, breaking and entering. I didn't think you had it in you."

"Then you'd be surprised to see what I'm capable of."

A tiny beep sounded from Jounouchi's shirt pocket.

"Shoot. I ran over my time again." He pulled out his phone from behind the scanner and silenced the alarm. "I gotta go. Got more deliveries."

"Wait," Seto stopped him just as he stepped away. "I don't want to keep you, but do you know Yugi's schedule tomorrow?"

"It's the weekend. He'll be home. Prob'ly working the front counter for Gramps some of the time."

"That could work. What about you?"

"Me? Uh…" he paused to think it over. "Actually, I think I got the day off."

"Fantastic. You can help, too. In fact, the more hands you can gather, the better."

"Help with what?"

"Don't worry. Just be at Yugi's at nine. I'll try to get Atem there as early as possible."

"It's a plan."

Jou gave a little wave and headed off. Seto closed the door.

When he got back to Atem he set their dinner out on the table and unwrapped the sandwiches.

"What took you so long at the door?" Atem asked.

Seto stepped into the kitchen. He opened the refrigerator to find some water, but came back with only one bottle and a can of ginger soda. He let it slide, since there were no clean drinking glasses to use even for tap water.

"I had to double check the order. I wasn't sure they put the sauce I requested on yours." He set both the water and the soda on the table. "This was all you had. You choose."

Atem shrugged. "I don't care. You choose."

He hadn't touched his sandwich yet.

"The water would be more healthy for you than the sugar."

"But you won't drink the soda."

"I will if you want the water."

"I said I don't care."

"Then grab one and you can start eating."

Atem growled at the command, and grabbed the can of soda just to end the discussion.

"You didn't have to wait for me to sit down before you could start eating. You know that, right?"

"I know. I'm just not very hungry."

"You might be once you start eating," he urged.

Atem sighed and picked up his sandwich. He ate one bite slowly, but the next two came with just a hint of eagerness that Seto might have missed if he wasn't paying attention.

"Are you watching me eat?" Atem asked, setting down his food for a drink of soda.

"I told you you'd want it."

Atem shrugged. "It's tasty. I guess they remembered the sauce."

Seto nodded. "I know what you like. Why did you choose the soda after all?"

"Like I said, you wouldn't drink it if I took the water."

Seto smirked. He couldn't help himself but lean over and press his lips to Atem's forehead.

"I guess you cared about something after all."

* * *

A/N: I'm sorry to post another new story before finishing my old ones; it's not my style but they're being actively worked on still. No promise date atm. But this one is nearly done and I finally have an ending for it. It will probably be longer than the first.

I've been wanting to post this story for a long time. Please let me know what you think! I didn't feel like the original Something To Hold Onto needed a sequel, but I wanted to take a look into what an established relationship between these two would look like after that set up. If these characters seem OOC to you, please take into account the original story, but please let me know if you think it's too much.

Thanks for reading! See you next time, whenever that may be.

~ohmygodagiantrock


	2. I'll Be The Mess

While Atem worked on his sandwich, Seto stood.

"Would you be offended," Seto started, "if I ran a load of laundry for you before I start eating?"

Atem swallowed and set down his sandwich. "Why?"

"I saw the basket in the living room. It looked like you meant to take it to the laundry room but hadn't managed to."

"I'll get to it. You have to stop doing everything for me. It's embarrassing. You don't even do your own laundry at home."

"That doesn't mean I'm incapable. I'm just too busy. That, and most of my clothes require dry cleaning."

"I know you're capable. There's nothing you can't do. You're a god, remember?"

Seto smirked. He remembered what he'd said, but was pleased that Atem did as well.

"I'm not trying to embarrass you. I just want to make sure you have clean clothes for tomorrow."

"I have something I can throw on. It's fine. Sit down, you should eat."

Seto did not sit.

"I want to take you somewhere tomorrow. Let me help you with your laundry."

"Who said I wanted to go anywhere?"

"I was under no impression that you would want to. It's nothing extravagant, or even public. I just think you need to take some time to get out of here for a day."

"All day? Seto, I…" He shook his head. "That's too much to ask."

"Give me half the day, then. I haven't seen you once all week. You've even got Mokuba asking about you."

"Stop."

Atem put his elbows on the table and draped his hands over the back of his head. He closed his eyes.

"This is how you get better, Atem."

"Dragging my filth outside for the world to see?"

"By pushing yourself to be uncomfortable. By fighting like I know you can."

Atem folded his paper wrapping around his sandwich. He slung his blanket over one shoulder, picked up his can of soda and dragged himself out of the room.

When Seto heard the bedroom door close, he let out a breath. After a moment's thought, he abandoned his dinner and picked up the laundry basket in the living room. He pulled a few coins from the jar Atem kept by the door marked 'Laundry' and slipped out the door.

While there were other tenants using the laundry room, Seto was the only one occupying it. Everyone else seemed content to leave their wash unattended, something Seto never quite understood. Once Atem's clothes were running in one of the empty washers, Seto pulled out his phone and dialed the Game Shop.

While he waited for an answer he glanced around the tiny laundry room, cornered off in the basement of the apartment building, trying not to grimace. He wished Atem was able to afford to live in a nicer place, but the man had found it on his own and moved in without help. Seto had to let him make his own decisions.

"Hello Kaiba," Yugi answered.

"You have your caller ID set up, I see."

Yugi ignored the comment.

"You only call here when there's something going on with Atem. Is he okay?"

"More or less. Not as bad as last year. But he needs some help."

"I'll do whatever he needs."

"He needs you to be assertive."

"What do you mean?"

"I know you and your friends think I'm mean to him."

"If you're asking me to talk to him like you do, I'm not doing that. It doesn't help him."

"See, that's where you're wrong."

"I think—"

"This is not a matter of opinion. Atem _needs_ a strong hand. Maybe not from you, but that's how he responds well to me. I have seen results based on the way I handle him."

"I just don't feel that being harsh with him will—"

"It isn't about being harsh. It's about understanding him well enough to know what will get him out of bed. And while you may have spent more time around him altogether than I have," he said, trying to fight down the surge of jealousy he always felt when recalling their past arrangement, "I can imagine I have spent more early mornings trying to pry him away from my bed sheets than you have yours."

Yugi fell quiet.

"Okay, you have a point. Is that what this is about? He won't get out of bed again?"

"He quit his job. Or, rather, he allowed himself to be fired."

"He didn't tell me that. Is it bad? Last time he lived off of ramen for a week and let his houseplant die."

"Then this is worse. He's barely eating at all. I've tried to help him here and there this evening, but I couldn't get it all done if I spent the whole weekend helping him clean."

"How bad is it?"

"Let's just say, he might still have a dead houseplant somewhere. You just can't see it buried beneath the clutter and trash."

Yugi winced. "Poor guy."

"Tell me, Yugi. Why is it that I am the one informing you about this, and even Jounouchi when he delivered our dinner?"

"I left him voice mails. I stopped by a couple times but he was at work, until his phone lost service. I've tried to come by almost every day, but he keeps the door locked."

Seto thought over his answer.

"It's not like I haven't been trying. Actually, I've been wondering why you hadn't called sooner. I knew something had to be going on. I just didn't try to get too involved because I could usually hear him ignoring me from inside his apartment, so I knew he was at least… okay. And I was trying to stay hopeful."

"The next time he's on an upswing you should try to convince him to make you a key in case he ever needs you to have one."

"You have one, don't you?"

"Of course. I'm assertive enough to have obtained one before, so that when it's necessary I can help him."

"I guess I should try to get one, too. Kaiba, are you doing his laundry?"

"You can tell?"

"You're using the corner machine. It makes that weird noise every time it spins around. You're not the only one who's tried to help him."

"I believe you. But right now he needs more than just me. He needs a hearty distraction. I haven't told him this yet, but I'm planning to get a cleaning crew in his place so he can stop living in squalor."

"He's not going to appreciate you intervening like that."

"Maybe not immediately, but it's necessary. He's never going to dig himself out of his mess without help in the state he's currently in. And having a clean, healthy environment may help him break out of his haze."

"I agree. What do you need me to do?"

"I already told him I want to take him out tomorrow. After an argument, he eventually responded by shutting himself up in his room. I need you to help convince him that he wants to go out. I'll do what I can on this end, but I'll need you to come by early tomorrow and try to get him out of the apartment. I need at least half the day."

"And if he won't open the door to talk to me?"

"If he doesn't, I will."

"You're staying with him?"

"I want to make sure he's safe tonight."

"That's really hard to hear," Yugi said quietly, a quiver in his voice. "You think he'll agree to let you bring a cleaning service into his home?"

"Not yet, but he will."

"Right. Because you're assertive."

"Because I understand him," Seto corrected, even though he knew Yugi had his own way of knowing Atem as well.

"Okay. I'll come by in the morning."

"As early as you can. It may take some time, and I told Jounouchi to make it to your place by nine."

"I'll do what I can."

"Do what you have to," Seto said, and ended the call.

* * *

He returned to Atem's apartment long enough to have his sandwich and water. Atem had not returned to the table like he had hoped, so he ate alone without bothering Atem. When he was finished he returned to the laundry room with another set of coins and switched the load to the dryer.

He returned to Atem's apartment once more. His first task was to empty the trash and load into the dishwasher what could be sent through it and switching it on. If he was going to spend the night, he needed a little more to work with.

He slipped into Atem's bedroom without knocking. Atem was in bed again, his dinner discarded on the bedside table. Without speaking Seto slid open the door to the closet and rummaged on the top shelf, which Atem had trouble reaching, until he found the set of clean bed sheets he was looking for.

He pulled them down and stepped past more laundry baskets and other clutter on the floor on his way back to the bed, until he stepped on something and heard a crack. With a deep sigh, he tossed the sheets on the corner of the bed to free his hands and pick up whatever he'd just stepped on.

He lifted up a pair of jeans to find Atem's duel disk, its arm half-extended as if it were in use. One of the five glass plates that analyzed the card in its slot was cracked and useless, and the arm was now bent and unable to fold in the way Seto's design had intended.

"Are you kidding me?" Seto reprimanded sternly enough that Atem rolled over to look.

He held the broken duel disk up in clear view.

"You're sleeping with the man who invented this technology, and you leave it lying on the floor? You do realize that Solid Vision is the centerpiece of my intellectual achievements, don't you?"

Atem pulled the blanket over his head.

"I'm sorry for blaspheming your genius with my carelessness," he mumbled from under the covers.

There was truly no good place for the device to be set nearby, so Seto used it to fill the spot on the shelf where the sheets had been found. Perhaps he might forget about it until Seto replaced it for him, since the shelf was so high up that Atem usually ignored its contents. He suspected that was a governing reason why he was able to find any clean sheets at all.

Atem eventually came out from the covers, but made a point of not looking at Seto.

"Don't worry about it. I just found it ironic, that's all."

"That of all the people to use your products, _I'm_ the one incapable of taking good care of them? I guess it's fair, then, that we're not really sleeping together much anymore."

"I don't see how the two subjects relate. Besides, we are sleeping together. I'm staying over tonight. I need you to stand up a moment."

"You don't want to stay here."

"Is that your way of saying _you_ don't want me to stay here?"

Atem didn't answer.

"Atem, get up. I let you lay here for an hour today, but now you need to get up."

Slowly Atem started to crawl out from the covers.

"Why? It's nearly night time. I'll just be going to sleep in a while anyway."

"Yes, and you'll be doing so with clean sheets, or I'm not sleeping here."

"I didn't ask you to," he said, but he didn't protest when Seto grabbed both of his hands and pulled him to his feet, gently but with authority.

"Here, hold these for me."

He handed Atem the clean folded sheets to hold while he ripped the old ones off the bed. He balled them up and tossed them onto one of the laundry baskets with the least piled on top of it. One sheet at a time, he passed Atem a corner here and a pillowcase there, until Atem had inadvertently helped Seto make his bed.

"Better," Seto said.

"Where are you trying to make me go tomorrow?"

"To spend the day with Yugi."

"What if I wanted to spend it with you? We could… just stay here instead."

"I don't think I have to work very hard to tell you I don't have a lot of interest in spending more time here than necessary. Especially if you're going to go all guilty on me every time I try to help you clean up. Besides, Yugi really wants to see you."

"You're talking about me with each other again, aren't you?"

"Forget about that for right now. Let's focus on you. What would help you be interested in seeing him?"

"Nothing. I don't want to be seen by anyone."

"You asked me not to leave."

Atem's gaze shifted to the floor. "That doesn't mean I'm happy that you have to look at me."

"I don't care about what you look like. I don't see what you seem to think I see."

"What do you see?"

Seto was happy the man hadn't retreated back under the covers again—especially since he planned on sleeping in the bed that had just been cleaned, and Atem hadn't been. But he took his hands in his own and turned them over.

Atem had one scar on his left wrist but it was well faded by now, and hadn't been that deep to begin with.

"I see a man who is tired. But no matter how tired he feels right now, his wrists are clean. I see a man who went through the effort of opening his bedroom window today because he wanted fresh air, even if he wasn't ready to open the blinds to the outside. I see a man who is trying his hardest."

Atem was blushing and pulled his hands back. But he let Seto pull him into a hug, relaxing into the contact. They hadn't touched much lately.

"Come on," Seto said, tapping his shoulder so he stood up straight.

"Where?"

"I'm going to draw you a bath. By the time you come out your nightclothes will be dry, and we can get some sleep together."

"You don't like my bed."

"It's not my favorite," he admitted. "But I've slept in it before, and unless you move out of here and get a bigger place, it won't be the last time. I don't mind it that much, really. I just can't make a habit of waking up with my neck out of line."

"I can't afford a bigger place," Atem said as he let Seto pull him along to the bathroom.

He was glad to see the bathroom wasn't a complete mess, because it was the one area Seto wasn't interested in cleaning. There were occasional bottles of shampoo in places they didn't belong once Seto realized they were empty. But when he realized that the bathroom was in nicer shape than he had expected likely because Atem hadn't been using it to take care of himself, he was no longer pleased.

"Do you want to take a bath, or would you rather shower?" Seto asked.

"It doesn't matter," Atem responded.

He seemed to know what Seto was thinking about the room, and didn't step into it. He hovered in the doorway, not standing too close to Seto.

"There's a difference. Would you like to relax while you get clean, or do you just want to get it done?"

"I want it over with. Is that the same thing?"

"We'll make it work."

Seto slipped his suit coat off again and found an almost bare hook on the back of the door to hang it, on top of Atem's bathrobe.

"Strip," Seto ordered as he rolled up his sleeves.

"I don't want to."

"I gathered that, or you would have done it already."

"Seto…"

Seto turned on the water so it could get hot while they talked. He stepped up to Atem and wrapped the man's arms around his own waist.

"I know you're embarrassed. I can't help you with that, but I can help take away what you're embarrassed about."

"I don't want you to see how bad it is."

"Then I won't look. I'll stay in the room if you want me to, or I'll find something else to do if you want more privacy."

"You'll just end up cleaning more."

"Actually, I was thinking of sending for some groceries so we can have a nice breakfast in tomorrow morning."

"Fine, go."

"You don't sound like you want me to, though."

Atem's arms tightened around his waist.

"It's okay, I won't go. I'll let you get in the water, then I'll come back in. I'll just be outside the room."

Atem hesitated to move, but Seto pulled his arms off from around himself and kissed Atem's forehead again, the only place on him he felt very comfortable about kissing lately. It reminded him to set out the toothpaste and Atem's toothbrush on the counter.

Atem took the hint and began with brushing his teeth.

Next Seto opened the sliding door of the small bathroom closet. He was glad to see that, like the shelf that held the bed sheets, the shelves higher up in this closet held a pile of clean folded towels and washcloths.

He set one towel and washcloth out on the towel rack, then grabbed a second washcloth just in case Atem might need one. Then he checked each of the shampoo bottles until he found one that wasn't empty, setting the rest on the floor by the door to be taken out later. The soap was in its place on the soap dish and his razor hanging in its holder suction-cupped to the tile wall.

"Take as long as you need. But you might want to turn the water off once in a while to save your hot water, in case you need to take more time. The dishwasher is running, too. I don't want you to end up with cold water. I know this building's water heating system isn't great."

"I know you're just doing all of this so you're comfortable sleeping here, next to me. But despite all my complaining, I do appreciate it."

"Stop it. That is not why I'm doing this, and you know it. Maybe the efforts I put in will help my comfort level, but that is not why I chose to come over here at the start of my weekend and be with you, regardless of what shape you or your dwelling place are in."

"Okay," was all he could respond.

"I've said it several times tonight, but I'll say it again. I'm here, because you matter to me. And… I know I don't say this as often as I should, but, I love you."

Seto could calculate the precise moment when Atem's heart melted. His face shone brighter than Seto had seen in weeks. Atem pressed his head into Seto's shoulder, not seeming to care that his hair was in Seto's face.

"I guess you really needed to hear that," Seto whispered in his ear.

Atem nodded.

"Come on. Go ahead and get in the water before you lose your heat."

Atem pulled himself away from Seto, apparently motivated by the discomfort of a cold shower.

Seto offered him a smile, which Atem returned, as he stepped out of the room to give him some privacy.

* * *

A/N: I hope this story doesn't seem too tedious in places. I would love feedback on how my readers feel about me including the mundane. I know it's not exciting, but I felt it was necessary in showing a level what mental illness can look like, but if it's not interesting enough to keep reading then there's no point.

Thanks for reading! You guys are amazing.

~ohmygodagiantrock


	3. You Be The Medicine

Seto didn't go far, but stood outside the door so he could hear when Atem stepped into the shower. He knocked once and then entered.

Atem had piled his clothes neatly on the floor by the tub, the hamper in the corner too full to stuff anything more into it.

"If there's anything I'm learning about this situation," Atem said through the curtain, "It's that I own too many clothes."

"I think Anzu got a little carried away with her shopping spree when you came back from your second trip to Egypt."

"Do you think she'll be offended if I cut down on the amount I have?"

"Why would she even know?"

"She's too insightful sometimes."

"I'm sure she'd understand, but I think you're only seeing half the problem."

"I know, Seto. If I'd just wash them and put them away, I wouldn't have this problem."

"But you don't like putting them away because your dresser gets too full. I've seen the way you have to cram your clothes into it to make everything fit."

"Then what's your solution?"

"You could cut down on your clothes if you feel you have more than you're interested in wearing. But I own more clothes than you do and they never end up on the floor, because I have enough space to keep it all in my closet."

"You also have a laundry chute in your room, and a full house staff."

"I agree, that helps. But you could still benefit from a larger space. If you could fit more than just your dresser into your closet you would have room to hang up some of your clothes that wrinkle when folded."

"Did they teach you this stuff in your 'how to be a rich snob' homeschooling sessions?"

"Yes, of course. Although, there's a difference between 'homeschooling' and private tutoring."

"You keep pushing for me to move but I can't afford a bigger place."

"You could if you had a bigger income."

Atem sighed. "Any income would be better than what I have."

"Don't just aim for anything. Aim for what you want."

The bathroom fell silent a moment.

"I want a bed that doesn't hurt you when you sleep in it. A bed that would compel you to spend the night with me more often."

"That's a good start. You've got me on board."

"Seto, the manager at the arcade was a terrible person. I don't how Yugi and I spent so many hours in his establishment without realizing how awful he is."

"You were there having fun then. When you got hired you were much more involved with him."

"He wasn't willing to give me any slack. He was always on me about every little thing, to the point where I was too stressed out to eat before I even showed up for my shift. I'm sure working for someone like you is so much more stressful, but even so I just couldn't get myself out the door some days."

"You can handle what you can handle right now. It sounded like a great idea at the time, but it didn't work out for you. I think you could use something a little simpler."

"I just need something. Probably something less stressful."

Seto spent most of the time he waited, when Atem wasn't feeling talkative, leaning against the wall browsing on his phone. Eventually he had to crack open the door to let in some cool air and diffuse the stifling sauna-like atmosphere.

The water turned off and back on again a few times in the near hour that Atem spent in the shower before he finally reached for the towel on the rack.

"Do you want your bathrobe?" Seto asked.

Atem opened the curtain with the towel wrapped around his waist, looking positively refreshed.

"No, I'm fine. That is, unless you're asking me to cover up."

Seto rose with a smirk and put his phone away.

"Not in the least," he said, taking Atem's hand and helping him step out of the tub. "Now, isn't that better?"

"Much. Thank you for making me do this. I know how badly I needed it."

Seto placed a hand under Atem's jaw and raised it, their eyes meeting. Seto closed his eyes and pulled Atem to him, pressing their lips close.

Atem tilted his head and pressed into Seto, the kiss tasting like Atem's mint toothpaste.

Seto pulled away slowly, reluctantly.

"I missed this," Atem whispered. His arms, still damp, hung around Seto's neck. He stared down at his feet. "I'm sorry."

Seto pulled his chin up again and looked him squarely in the eyes. "Do not apologize for your illness."

Atem tried to look down again but Seto stopped him with another kiss, fierce and clashing like the heated battles they had once fought against one another. Atem began to move and rock with Seto, synchronized even in their breathing.

Seto again pulled away, but held his face only an inch away from the smaller man's.

"I was definitely _not_ asking you to cover up. In fact," Seto said in a low voice, and flicked the corner of Atem's towel out of place, causing it to fall to the floor.

Seto ignored the towel and pulled Atem to him, kissing down his neck and shoulder.

Atem's breath left him in gasps. He reached for Seto's hand and placed it on his stomach, where he began to run his fingertips feather light across Atem's gleaming skin.

In all the time he had spent indoors Atem had lost his bronze glow he had earned digging in Egypt, but Seto's hands glided over his skin as if he were made of gold.

Seto glanced down and smirked.

"Good. I was hoping you were interested," he said.

He took a half step back from Atem, ignoring his protests, then bent to his knees.

"Seto," Atem purred, running a hand through his silky hair. "You don't…" he paused as a shudder ran through him, "…have to do that."

Seto's eyes drifted upward as he worked on Atem, but he closed them again as Atem's fingers gripped his hair.

"I want to," he said as he paused to take a breath, letting his hand take over for a few strokes.

Atem closed his own eyes and let Seto's rhythm lead him. He let his hands glide through Seto's hair, stroking his face and his chin, then down his neck as he began to get lost in the burning pleasure that shot through his body and rocked his core.

* * *

Atem, in a daze, reached for Seto's belt buckle only to have his grip deflected.

"Why not?" Atem whispered.

"Because," Seto answered, tugging him close enough to feel the heat of his breath, "I'd like to change our setting first."

Seto swiped the towel off the floor and ran it over Atem's hair and shoulders just once, tossed it onto the rack, then tugged him along behind himself. He left his jacket and all of Atem's clothes in the bathroom and led Atem to his bedroom. Seto did his best to ignore the clutter in the room and focus only on Atem.

Standing against the bed Seto pushed Atem over with a kiss, sending him bouncing onto the mattress. He resisted as Atem tried to pull him down with him.

"Not yet. Don't move," he said through another kiss, then pulled away.

"Wait, where are you going?"

"Just stay here and think sexy thoughts." He winked and left the room.

He returned not two minutes later with a pair of black cotton pajama pants and a dark blue tank, along with a pair of socks and boxers.

"Did you wash those?" Atem asked.

Seto made a half-hearted attempt to fold them all together, and placed them inside one of his dresser drawers, all of which were nearly empty because most of his clothes were in places they didn't belong.

"I wasn't about to run another load of laundry when you're trying to pull me into bed. But I thought, since I didn't come prepared with my own set of clothes, I'll just have to go without tonight."

"I won't complain about that. In fact, I'll be happy to join you. You didn't have to wash my clothes."

"But one of us is going to have to address that in the morning, and that will require one of us to put on pants. I vote you."

"Why me?"

"Because, come tomorrow morning, I know I would rather not put on yesterday's clothes to go out to my car in the lot and dig for my overnight bag first thing in the morning, just to come back in and get dressed again. You've got a clean pile of laundry."

"Or you could just go now, since you're still dressed."

"_Or…_"

Seto leaned in to where he sat on the edge of the bed and kissed him, pressing one hand on the side of each of his thighs.

"You could stop talking about your damn laundry and let me in your bed," Seto growled, his own hand now on his belt.

Atem bit his lip and nodded.

Without another word he reached out to help Seto with his belt, who let go and leaned in to let Atem unfasten his button. He moved back on the bed without another word.

* * *

A/N: I wouldn't normally post two chapters at once, but this one is short, and… um… important… And I don't know when I'll be able to update next. I like to keep busy and I have a lot of literary projects fighting over the same time slots. But you know me. Always and excuse. Good night everybody. I hope you enjoyed.

~omgagr


	4. You Know I'm Fading Still

Seto, overheated and breathing heavy, yearned to turn on the box fan Atem had set up near the window. But he knew how fragile the setting could be, cluttered as it was, and the air that circulated might upset the delicate stacks of trash Atem had left on nearly every surface.

He did not want so much as to bump the desk or dresser, lest he cause a tumble of misplaced items like falling dominoes. He barely wanted to touch the surfaces unless he had a heavy-duty trash bag in his hands.

So, begrudgingly, he left the fan alone. Rather than staying in bed and breathing in the stale, hot air, however, he elected to open the window.

"That feels nice," Atem crooned as Seto climbed back in bed.

Atem tugged him closer and rested his head on his chest, making Seto all the warmer, but glad at least that Atem and his bed were clean.

Seto let him be for a few minutes while they both cooled down, and eventually covered themselves with a single sheet.

"Hey. Are you tired?" Seto asked.

"Of course I am. You saw to that."

Seto chuckled. "Fine, but are you trying to sleep?"

"No. My mind is actually… buzzing."

"So is mine."

"You're thinking about me, aren't you?" Atem asked, his tone bland.

"I was trying to talk to you earlier, but it clearly wasn't the right time for you."

"What?" Atem asked shortly.

"I just wanted to check in with you. I want to know how you're doing, aside from the outwardly obvious."

"What is it that you're trying to find out? You can ask what you need to, you know. You will anyway."

Seto sighed deeply, trying to clear his frustration before it amounted to anything that might shut down the conversation early.

"I don't want to be pushy."

"Since when, Seto?"

"Very funny. I don't want to if it will have a negative effect on your moods. But you need someone to push you, or you won't move forward."

"I said, you can ask," Atem said, but it was clear he was growing defensive and uncomfortable.

Seto couldn't let himself back down, for Atem's own sake. But he chose to take as gentle an approach as he could manage. He picked up Atem's hand and wrapped his own around his wrist, stroking the underside, along his scar.

"I just want to know if you're okay."

"No you don't. Say it."

"Are you… dealing with those thoughts again?"

"Which thoughts, Seto?"

"Why are you doing this?"

"You want me to be uncomfortable. I'm just doing the same."

"I'm sorry if you're getting uncomfortable, but I'm just trying to help you stay alive."

"Why would that be a problem?"

Seto shut his mouth and focused on stroking Atem's wrist with all the tenderness he could muster, but Atem's attitude was getting to him.

"Have you been thinking about suicide?" Seto asked, pushing away the reason why it had been a difficult question to ask. The question hung in the air like a brick.

"Often," Atem answered.

The air developed a chill, and Seto had an urge to get up again and shut the window. He could feel the hairs along his arms prickle, but he made himself ignore the feeling.

"How could I not?" Atem asked. "It really hasn't been that long, since the last time. Five, maybe six months? Of course those days would cross my mind. Why wouldn't they?"

"You're right," Seto said, but he couldn't make himself relax.

"But that still wasn't the right question, was it?"

"No."

"So?"

Seto sighed and tried again.

"Are you considering taking your life? Is there an active need for me to be concerned for your safety?"

"There. Was that so hard?"

Seto pinched the soft skin on Atem's wrist—not hard enough to hurt, but enough to earn him a slap on the hand.

"What was that for?" Atem asked.

"I'm trying to be serious, because this is a serious topic. Why are you playing games with me?"

"Because, Seto, that's what we do. That's what we've always done. It's how we learn about each other."

"Fine. What move do I have to make to get an answer from you?"

"Telling you how to win? Seto, that's hardly fair."

Atem hadn't been looking at Seto as he laid on his lap, but rather speaking into the sheets.

But Seto shifted so Atem had to lift his head, and he placed his hand under Atem's chin to force him to meet his eyes.

"This is not playing a game now, Atem. What you're doing is deflecting. Please, just answer the question."

Atem's gaze remained glued to his eyes.

"Yes, I am considering it."

Seto's jaw tightened involuntarily, and the chill on his skin ran colder. It wasn't the answer he was hoping for. He squeezed Atem's wrist affectionately, but his eyes had risen to the ceiling to avoid looking at the man in his arms.

"But I won't do it," Atem went on. "I can't stop the thoughts, the images, from flooding my mind. But I can stop myself from giving in to them. I am doing the best I can."

"Then you need to tell me these things. If not me, then Yugi, or somebody. I know Mokuba would be just as happy to talk you through something like this as I am."

"I know that."

"Do you? If a day were to ever come when your best is not enough, I want you to know that you have people around you who are willing to help you."

"Of course I know that. Why do you think I struggled so much last year, trying to run away from my friends? I _knew_ they would stop me. They would fight me with all their strength."

"But you have to stop running and hiding. You already said you want to feel better. So you know that those of us around you are willing to help. But what you need to do is to let us know about your struggle. We can't help you if we don't know."

"I know that, too. I was… I was trying to handle it on my own."

"Why?"

Atem shrugged. "I hadn't thought about why. It just felt important."

"Okay, so you want to say you handled it on your own—maybe that's it. I respect that. I suppose I can even admire it. But what if you're being foolish?"

"How do you mean that?"

"What if you're only trying to hide how hard you have it so that if it gets too hard nobody knows enough to stop you? I won't let you do that."

"If I can't handle it on my own? Then I suppose I'll have made a very costly oversight."

Although Atem spoke so simply, but Seto could see his eyes growing red and glassy, and knew he was concealing most of what he felt. But Seto would not push him here, this was not the language either of them spoke.

"You know how I feel about relying on medication. But I'm beginning to think it may be time for you to see a professional."

Atem laughed.

"And how is that going to work, Seto? 'Tell me about yourself, sir.' 'Well, I was born three millennia ago in Egypt.' They'd call me delusional and put me away."

"So, leave that part out. Who cares?"

"How is a professional going to be able to help me if I lie to them?"

"What does it matter? What you're dealing with is very human, regardless of when you were born. Don't try to tell me ancient Egyptians didn't have depression."

"It's not that simple. Your modern medicines are so different than my culture. Not that I learned much about anything unrelated to my royal duties."

"Atem, do you really think no one who sees a psychologist ever lies? You would not be the first. You could talk about your family if you felt the need, but you wouldn't have to say how long ago you lost them. And you can be vague about your 'saving the world' duties by explaining simply that the expectations put on your shoulders felt like too much. This is really much simpler than you're making it seem."

"Fine. Maybe it's not a complete waste of my time."

"But you know, even if you see a professional or get yourself on some medication, it won't be an instant fix."

"No, it won't."

"Do you see that being a problem?"

"I can't answer that."

"What is that supposed to mean?"

"Seto, I don't know how I'm going to feel when I wake up in the morning. Will I be up for cleaning this place up? Or going out with you? Will I even have the motivation to make myself breakfast or get out of this bed? I don't know, Seto. Now that you've helped me change my sheets laying here feels fantastic. I might not want to get up for days, until it's filthy again. And then it will be too much of a burden for me to do anything about it and I'll hate myself for being stuck this way."

"I hear what you're saying, Atem, and you're starting to concern me."

"But what can be done about it?"

"Nothing with that attitude. But that's why I'm here. I will _not_ let you give up on yourself."

Atem kissed Seto's bare chest.

"I believe you. I hate that about you sometimes… but thank you."

Seto looked down at him and kissed the top of his head. His eyes looked glassy again.

"I don't feel like I can leave you alone."

"But you can't babysit me like you did that weekend when you first kissed me. Those were unusual circumstances."

"Do you feel like you're safe here by yourself?"

"Not always."

"You're right, I can't keep an eye on you all the time. Not without retiring from my job, or making you tag along with me daily. I suppose I could always hire you as… I don't know, my secretary's assistant?"

"Very funny."

"But you hate the idea of office work, and I would only be trapping you in another prison. You've had enough of those."

"I appreciate that you see it that way."

"What if you moved in with Yugi?"

"We tried that, remember? It didn't work out, and that's why I'm living here. There isn't room for me—in my own body—at Yugi's home."

"I know this place is a little cramped, but couldn't he move in with you? Either here or in a larger apartment?"

"I would be happy to be closer to Yugi, and I am confident that he feels the same. But he and Anzu need their space. I make her uncomfortable."

"I don't see why the self-appointed Queen of Friendship has been so unsupportive."

"Glimpsing my life for what it is now is a lot for her to handle."

"Is she still jealous of me?"

"Maybe. But even if that's not the problem, I feel as though having Yugi live with me would cause him to see less of her."

"You don't think she would even come over?"

"Probably not as often as she visits him now."

"I don't see that as an appropriate reason not to make a move for the sake of your health and safety. But that's one thing I can't force you into, so if that's how you feel…"

"For now, yes."

"I still don't feel like I can leave you here alone. Listen. I don't like lying to you, but sometimes you make me have to."

"What are you talking about?"

"When our sandwich delivery came earlier, and you asked me what was taking so long, I lied."

"So, you didn't really care if they put on the sauce I like?"

"Of course I cared, but… no, I wasn't checking. I was talking to the delivery boy."

"Great. Someone I have to be jealous of, now?"

Seto wrinkled his nose and fought a gag, making a sound in his throat that made Atem look up at him.

"Or not?" he grinned.

"The delivery boy was Jounouchi."

"Oh. Then I suppose I have nothing to worry about. What did he have to say?"

"It was more myself driving the talk than him."

"Great. About what?"

Atem sat up with a start.

"Did you let him see my apartment?" he growled, his eyes accusing.

"It couldn't be helped. The worst of it is in view from the front door. I tried to keep it closed most of the way, though. And before you try to pin this on me, I did not know he worked for the restaurant. I couldn't have arranged for him to be the one to come by."

Atem sighed. "No, I suppose not. He's become like Anzu was in high school, working any job he can find. I am not surprised."

"Anyway, I asked him to meet with you at Yugi's tomorrow, so you can expect to spend some time with him as well. I know you're not looking forward to it, but you'll enjoy it when you get there."

"How do you know?"

"Because I know you, and that's how it usually works with you. But that's not all."

"What?"

"I asked him if he can help you with a job."

"Seto! I don't want to—"

"You don't want to support yourself? You don't want to work side-by-side with one of your best friends? It isn't an office job. And it's right down the street."

"But, a sandwich job?"

"Is earning money beneath you? What are you trying to say about your friend by insinuating this?"

"The same thing that you've said about him dozens of times, apparently. Not that I mean to insult him. But I don't think it's for me."

"But it would put you in a situation where someone who we both know cares about your well-being would be able to have an eye on you during your days."

"Are you going to ask me to move in with him, next?"

"That's up to you. You've seen where he lives, I have not. I can't be the one to say whether it would be a good fit for you."

"It's small. Smaller than here."

"Then probably not."

Atem was quiet a moment, thinking.

"Seto, how do you expect me to pay for a therapist? Even if the sub shop is a job, it can't pay that much."

"I don't expect you to pay for it. We agreed when we started this that I wouldn't give you handouts or encourage leeching. I don't need you to be arm candy. I want the connection we already have, and that requires work on both ends."

"I know all of this."

"But therapy can be hundreds of dollars a session. There is no reason for me to stand in the way of you getting that if it will help you. I don't consider it a handout if it's necessary to keep you alive. And that reminds me, Atem. Don't worry about your phone bill this time. I'll catch you up."

"But that's different. You said I had to pay for it myself. What's the point of using it as a motivator if you're just going to take care of it when I let it go without paying?"

"Was it motivating you to go to work?"

"That's a different problem altogether. The manager was—"

Seto waved a hand to interrupt him. "Is knowing you have to pay your phone bill enough to get you to keep your place clean?"

"No."

"And it didn't help you hold down a job you didn't like even though you had bills to pay?"

"No."

"Then it's not working the way I had hoped. Would being able to call me or your friends when you need to talk, help you?"

"Maybe."

"Then making you keep it turned off is only a punishment for being depressed. But this is not your fault and you don't have to do everything alone. I'll pay to have it turned back on and keep it running until you get a job, or some other form of income. But you have to try. Job applications, interviews, a winning lottery jackpot. Something."

"If you don't see me trying, you'll stop paying for it, won't you?"

"You don't want me to be cut off from being able to talk to you on my lunch breaks, do you? You'd really be punishing us both," Seto said with a smirk.

"That doesn't help," Atem declared, but he couldn't hide the fact that he was starting to grin.

"Are you going to fight me paying for it?"

Atem fumbled for an answer, but eventually shook his head.

"Good. Because I already did."

"What?"

"Turn the phone on. You should have your service back."

Atem sighed. "Thank you, Seto. But please don't make a habit of swooping in to save me at the last minute. I do need to establish some independence, don't I?"

"But it's been my job to swoop in and save you at the last minute from the very start, hasn't it? Isn't part of why we work together because we're able to watch each other's backs?"

Atem's smile was small, but it was there.

"We should get some sleep," Seto said, pulling the pillow back to its place and laying down beside Atem.


	5. Another Step

"I still don't know if I want to do this," Atem said, pulling on his pajama pants.

"You'll be fine. It's ten steps out the back door. The keys are in my pants, which are… somewhere on the floor."

"I don't mean getting your clothes, Seto. I mean going out today to see my friends."

"I know what you meant. I'll be with you. You'll be fine. Look, you got out of bed this morning."

"Because you pushed me!"

"Sometimes we need those pushes in life," he smirked.

"You're coming with me?"

Seto finally sat up, the single bed sheet falling into his lap.

"Is that a problem?"

"No. I'll be glad to have you there."

"I'll have to slip away here and there to make a few phone calls. That's part of why I wanted you to meet with other friends today. I'm more than happy to spend the day with you. I just don't want you to feel ignored."

"Well, I'll be glad for the time I can get with you."

Atem leaned in and kissed Seto. Then he pulled his shirt over his head. He found Seto's slacks on the floor and fished his keys out of the pocket, then neatly draped the slacks and Seto's shirt over the foot of his bed. Avoiding the clutter on the floor, he slipped out of the room with the keys in hand.

The moment Atem was gone Seto grabbed the slacks Atem had put in reach and retrieved his cell phone. He noticed first that he had several missed calls and a few texts from Mokuba, but ignored them and searched his contacts. He found the company name of his cleaning crew and dialed.

"Ah, Kaiba. Happy to hear from you," the manager answered.

"I have a job for your team. It won't be easy, but I'll pay double your rate."

There was a pause on the other end. "There are no… illicit activities involved, correct?"

"I am not asking you to clean up a crime scene, if that's what you're asking," Seto answered, irritated.

"You would be surprised at what we have been asked to do," the manager said.

"This is nothing of the sort. It's a small apartment that has been greatly neglected. The person who lives in it has some burdens he's dealing with. There are no pets."

"I will send my team over."

"I need you to have it done within six hours."

"From the sound of it, that is asking a lot."

"The occupant may need to return home during the afternoon. I would like everyone to be packed up and gone before then. I will call when he's on his way."

"This sounds like a very big job, sir."

"I suppose it is. I'll pay double and a half."

"That sounds fine. Thank you for your generosity."

"Don't thank me before you see it."

Seto gave the address and the time the crew ought to arrive and hung up. He had been trying to be discreet with the call, but it had lasted longer than he had thought and Atem still had not returned. He decided to use the time to return Mokuba's calls, even if it was early.

"Seto?" Mokuba asked, sounding groggy.

"Hey kid. I hope I didn't wake you. You should be up by now."

"I didn't sleep great. I was worrying about you. Are you okay?"

"I'm fine. I didn't mean to worry you."

"Where are you? You never came home last night."

"I had an unexpected detour on my way home. I stopped at Atem's apartment. I decided to stay the night."

"I wish you would have called and let me know."

"I was a bit occupied."

"I'm sure you were," he said in a tone that indicated he didn't really want to hear. "But I would have liked to know you were okay."

"Sorry. I decided he could use some company."

"That's fine. Just call next time. Please?"

"I'll try to keep that in mind."

"Good. So how is he?"

Seto sighed and rubbed his face.

"Not well. I won't be coming home today until probably some time in the afternoon."

"Okay. Thanks for letting me know. I hope he feels better soon. Is there anything I can help with?"

"We're getting together with Yugi and Jounouchi."

"Oh. Sounds like you'll have a _blast,_" he said, matching Seto's usual sarcasm. "Want me to come along, as a buffer for you?"

"I'll be fine. I'll have Atem's company, and I'll have some calls to make on occasion that I can slip away for. I think this gathering would be better left small."

"Fine. Just make sure to check in occasionally so I know you haven't died."

"Sure."

The apartment door opened again, and a moment later Atem entered his room and placed Seto's bag on the bed.

Seto pulled the phone away from his face.

"There you are," he said, then returned to speaking to Mokuba. "Hey, I'm going to go. Do something productive today, alright?"

"Absolutely. There's this city I wanted to visit, I heard about some criminal activity I might be able to help with."

"Fine," Seto said, unable to fight a smirk, "but don't play video games _all_ day."

"'Kay. I might talk to Rebecca about plans to visit soon."

"You should. We can talk about that this evening."

"Fine, I'll see you later. Tell Atem he needs to stop by sometime. I'm going to crush him in CapMon one of these days."

"Tell him yourself," Seto said, switching the mode to speakerphone and holding the device out to the room.

"Atem?" came Mokuba's echoey voice.

"Hello, Mokuba," he said as he crawled up beside Seto, but remained atop the sheet that covered him.

"I was just asking my brother to convey a challenge to you."

"Oh? What sort of challenge is this?"

"A declaration of war. The next time you make it over, and I do hope that's soon, you best prepare yourself to lose."

"Ah. At CapMon, I presume?"

"It is my battle of expertise."

"That won't happen. You've never beat me."

"That ends now."

"We'll see."

"Okay, you two," Seto interrupted. "We have to get moving. Mokuba, I'll call you when I'm on my way home. Will that suffice?"

"Sure. I'll see you."

"Goodbye."

He hung up the phone and tossed it back onto his pants, then turned to give Atem his full attention.

"Hey. What took you so long?"

"I took down another load of laundry."

Seto flashed a smile. "Good for you."

"It's because of you. I couldn't have you doing all the work."

"Just don't do too much at once or it will take you longer to feel up to putting it away."

"I could start taking care of that now, if you wanted to do something about breakfast."

"Do you have any food?"

"Not much."

"Then I'll order something."

Seto grabbed the bag Atem had brought in and stepped into the bathroom to clean up and get dressed.

When they had dressed and eaten, Seto led Atem out to his car, holding hands. He dropped his bag into the backseat and stopped in front of the passenger side door.

The morning was still quite early, and Atem took a moment to enjoy the cool, crisp air.

"It's nice to be outside like this."

"It is," Seto said, his blue eyes on Atem.

Seto leaned in, pushing Atem against his car, and spent a long moment holding him, their lips pressed close and moving together like a dance rehearsed too long ago. The kiss felt awkward and sloppy but they came away smiling.

"Are you ready for this?" Seto asked calmly.

"Are you giving me a choice?" Atem asked, matching Seto's tone.

Seto stepped back to allow Atem to stand upright.

"This isn't about me forcing you into anything. This is about you choosing to take a positive step toward recovery in your illness."

"Then I can go back inside if I'm not willing to go?"

Seto dropped Atem's hand and gestured toward the apartment.

"You can go back in. But I'm leaving."

"You're not going to go to Yugi's without me, are you?"

"What business would I have spending my time with him?"

"You two always talk about me. I'm sure you have more to discuss."

"We talked last night. We're all caught up. If you're not interested in going, then I have no reason to go. I'll just go home and work on a neglected project or something. Maybe play some games with Mokuba, if he wants."

Atem let his head slump into Seto's shoulder, and he took up his hand again.

"I really need to get out, don't I?"

"I'm going to take this moment to remind you that whenever you're feeling like this about visiting your friends but you make yourself go anyway, you always seem to enjoy it once you get there."

"I do, don't I?"

Seto nodded. "More than that, when I spoke with Yugi last he told me that he's been trying, quite intently, to visit you, but that you won't open the door."

"I don't want him to see…" he gestured helplessly with his hands, dragging Seto's with him, "...everything."

"But we got _you_ cleaned up, and today that's all he's going to see. We'll work on the rest later."

"Okay."

"Good. Then let's go."

Atem allowed Seto to open the door for him and stepped in.


	6. It Only Beats When It Wants To

Seto pulled up to the Game Shop to see Yugi and Jounouchi enjoying what looked like mugs of coffee and some kind of breakfast wraps at a table beside the business's entrance.

Yugi was out of his seat before Seto stopped the car alongside the curb.

"Atem! I'm so happy to see you!" Yugi cheered in his bubbly voice the moment Atem opened the car door and climbed out. He wrapped his arms around his friend's narrow shoulders and squeezed.

Atem hugged back but with less enthusiasm.

Jounouchi stood and clapped Atem's shoulder, then handed him a mug of coffee.

"It's early. Might want some brew to wake up. I know I need it."

"Thanks," he said, accepting the cup without taking a sip.

"Did you eat?" Yugi asked, leading Atem to the table.

Four chairs surrounded the circular glass patio table, and Yugi seated Atem beside himself, leaving the last empty chair between Atem and Jounouchi.

"Yes, we ate. Seto ordered breakfast for us."

"As always, Kaiba," Yugi said with a meaningful glance, "Thank you for your help."

"And as always," Seto repeated, "I don't do it for you, so you can stop saying that."

"You don't have to accept our gratitude, but that won't make me stop showing it."

Seto took the remaining seat without responding, even turning down the coffee when Jou gestured to the pot and empty cup on the table.

"You look thin," Yugi said. "Are you eating at home?"

"He's always been thin as a rail," Jounouchi defended. "Leave him alone."

Atem flashed Jou a grateful smile, but answered Yugi anyway.

"I have been losing a little weight. It's not intentional."

"I hope you gain it back soon," Yugi said. "Are you sure you don't want any breakfast? Grampa cooked."

"I'm quite satisfied this morning, though I do find Grampa Muto's cooking difficult to pass up."

"Then you should stay for dinner," Yugi offered cheerfully. "Or, at least lunch."

"I don't expect Seto to stay that long," Atem answered, glancing at the man beside him. He hesitated before adding, "But I don't have any other plans."

Yugi's smile was infectious, and Atem couldn't help but return it.

"No," Seto agreed, "I promised Mokuba I would be home for dinner. I was hoping you would come, Atem, but we can do that another day."

"And I can give you a ride home," Jou offered. "You're not too far from me."

"Thank you, Jou," Atem said, though somewhat nervously. Having more people at the table felt like a good buffer, but having to be alone with any one of them—even the night spent with Seto—was an invitation to pervasive questions he wasn't sure he wanted to dwell on.

"Is your phone turned off?" Yugi asked. "I have been trying to get ahold of you."

"Not anymore," Seto answered for him.

"I meant to thank you for that," Atem said quietly, ignoring Yugi's watchful eyes.

Seto's mouth turned up at the corner, but he seemed fairly content to stay quiet for most of the visit.

"Is there something urgent you've been wanting to talk about?" Atem asked Yugi.

"Aside from generally keeping tabs on you, I wanted your opinion on one of the projects I'm working on."

"Your board game?" Atem asked, his attention piquing just slightly.

"You can't exactly call it a board game," Jou clarified.

"It's more of a three-dimensional puzzle, crossed with a board game," Yugi explained.

Atem found himself leaning in. "Is that so? I would be more than happy to look at it, if you want feedback."

Yugi grinned. He rose and disappeared inside, returning a few minutes later with a flat cardboard box.

The game, as Atem quickly deduced, was made in the shape of a gold pyramid, constructed in layers. Each layer of tiles was laid as the pieces rounded the perimeter of the board, defeating various trials, co-op style.

Seto had sat out for each round but watched with mild interest, occasionally leaving the table to take or make phone calls.

After the third round of Yugi's game and productive back-and-forth of feedback, Atem found himself feeling lighter than he had in months.

"So, what do you think, overall?" Yugi asked, while Seto was away from the table.

"I don't think I've played anything quite like it," Atem said earnestly.

"Even though you know it's based off of some of our experiences?"

"But it's through your perception of them, which is unique to you. I would love to see this in stores someday."

"I don't know about that," he said bashfully. "I was thinking of selling the first copy in Grampa's shop, but I don't think I'll make more than one."

"Really? Yugi, this has great potential."

"I don't think it would take off. I would have to get copies made, market and promote it… I don't know. I couldn't do it all by myself."

"What do you need help with?" Jou asked.

"This version is handmade with foam tiles. I would love to have it printed professionally, but I don't have the money for that. Maybe if I did manage to sell enough I could use the profits. But even then I'd still have to market it."

"I don't have a lot of experience with technology," Atem said, "so I wouldn't be much help with advertising. But if you were serious, I could help you make more games."

"And I don't have a lot of time between jobs, but my sis is great with all the social media stuff, and so is Anzu. I'm sure they'd love to team up and do some promoting for you."

"Wow. Thanks, guys," Yugi blushed, grinning.

* * *

"So, Yug'," Jou began during lunch, after Seto had left. "How's that lady-friend of yours?"

"Lady? Are you asking about Anzu?"

"Who else?"

"Uh, she's fine."

"Just fine, huh? Is something up with you two?"

"No, we're…" Yugi chuckled. "We're _fine_."

"There's that word again."

"She finished school with a recommendation from one of her dance instructors. So, she used that to get a chance to perform at the theater downtown."

"Yeah?" Jou asked.

"How did that work out?" Atem asked. His interest was genuine, but he felt awkward asking about her.

"She got in. She's on the performance schedule."

"Is it not what she was hoping for?" Atem asked.

"She loves it. And from what she says, the pay is great too. You guys should see her apartment."

"Then what's the issue?" Jounouchi asked.

Yugi smiled, glancing nervously over his shoulder at the game shop.

"I've lived here my whole life. I love this house."

"So?"

"So," Yugi sighed deeply, "my girlfriend is breaking into the performing arts, getting roses thrown on the stage for her. And I'm… living at home, working out of my grampa's basement."

"Still not seein' the problem, Yug'. You've seen my place. It's a dump. But Mai still comes around. And hey, if I'm havin' a lucky day, sometimes she'll even come inside," he said, grinning.

Yugi laughed. "I think you do see the problem. Looks like you've got one of your own."

"Housing ain't easy to come by these days."

"It's just a little intimidating, you know? For her to be so successful, while I'm… I don't know."

"Just waitin' for your big break?"

"Uh, sure."

"Yeah, I get it."

"But as long as Anzu isn't complaining about it," Atem said, "is there really an issue?"

"No. I guess not. I just want to be able to, you know, have my own space. But anyway. Hey Jou, have you heard from Honda lately?"

Jou shrugged. "Yeah, now and then."

"What's going on in his life?"

"You know how he loves that factory life."

"We should all get together sometime soon."

"Yeah. I guess now that Anzu is home from New York, there's no reason we can't all be in the same place at the same time."

When the conversation lulled, Jou gestured to Atem. "Hey man. Moneybags say anything to you about a job?"

Atem sighed. "He did."

"Oh, you sound excited," Yugi said.

"I just… have to think about it."

"Well, I mean, you'll need to figure something out, won't you?" Yugi asked.

Though he'd been enjoying the day so far, Atem felt himself stiffen.

"I'll get it figured out."

"It's cool, man. I brought you an application if you want it, but I'm sure Kaiba's got you covered if it don't work out."

"He doesn't pay for everything for me," Atem found himself snapping.

"It's fine, Jou," Yugi interjected. "Atem, we don't have to talk about it if you don't want to."

Atem breathed out his frustration and forced a smile. "Thank you for trying to help, Jounouchi. I'll look at the application."

Jou watched his friend a moment, but pulled out a folded piece of paper from his pocket and passed it across the table. Atem took it without looking at it, and silently decided he would throw it in the trash when he got home, but frowned when he thought about the overflowing trash cans in every room.

"It's just, I know I have a job hunt to manage but thinking about it has me a bit stressed. Sorry for getting testy," he said, but wasn't sure he meant it. He wished he was home. Even though he was beginning to hate how being there felt.

"No problem, man," he said with a casual grin.

Without hesitation, Jounouchi eased into another topic effortlessly, and soon he and Yugi were back in deep gaming conversation, eliciting occasional response from Atem.


	7. I've Learned To Hold My Breath

Seto pulled up to the Turtle game shop again at eight at night as dusk loomed. Atem was leaning against the front of the shop, one foot propped up on the wall behind him, and his head resting back against the bricks. Yugi leaned against him, and Jounouchi used a similar stance on his other side. However, Jou perched a few feet away, downwind with a lit cigarette in his hand. An aura of gray smoke billowed around him.

"I told you I'd drive you home," Jou said to Atem, pointing at Seto with his cigarette as the man drew near. "He didn't have to come all the way back."

"I insisted when I called after dinner," Seto responded as he approached.

"He said he has something he'd like to show me before we part ways tonight," Atem explained.

"We don't need to hear about your di—"

"Jounouchi," Yugi interrupted with a hiss, peering over Atem.

Jou took a drag from his cigarette, as if pretending he hadn't spoken, but Atem only chuckled.

"I was gonna say 'dinner'," he said innocently.

"Right," Atem snorted.

Seto refused to dignify the comment with a response.

"Are you ready?" he asked.

Atem nodded and slipped away from Yugi.

"I'll see you, Aibou," Atem said with a wave.

"Sooner than later, I hope?"

"Seto turned my phone back on. You can call me if you don't hear from me."

"I will," Yugi promised.

"Later man, good to see ya," Jou called, waving his hand holding the cigarette. "Later Moneybags."

Seto put an arm around Atem and led him to his car, opening the front door so he could settle in. When he got in himself and drove off, he put a hand on Atem's which was resting in his lap.

"You stayed out later than I expected," Seto said.

"I was having a good time. And I suppose staying at Yugi's for the evening, so long as I felt I wasn't overstaying my welcome, was better than going back to my trash-heap of an apartment just to lay in bed the rest of the day."

"I'm glad you thought of that. Though, I believe you could live with Yugi for a year and not overstay your welcome."

Atem let out a breathy laugh. "You might be right."

"Your friends really treasure you. You know that, don't you?"

"I do. It annoys me sometimes," he said with a smirk, "but I do."

"Why does it annoy you?"

Atem was silent for two solid minutes before answering. Seto allowed him the time.

"When you come over and force your way into my apartment without permission…" he started, the paused.

"You gave me a key, and told me to use it," Seto said. "There's no forcing of any kind."

"Whatever. But when you do, I usually push you away at first."

"Yes. How does this connect to my question? Or does it?"

"It does. I just… I can see that I need to surround myself with the people in my life. I have no doubt that they all care about me. But… when I don't feel like I want to, it's so much harder to enjoy company. And in those moments, feeling like everyone wants me around, and would hurt if I wasn't, those feelings are a burden to me. So, yes, I get annoyed."

"Because if no one cared about you being gone it would be so much simpler to take your life."

"Gods, so much simpler," he breathed, laying his head against the headrest. "And it's not that I don't love my friends, and you of course. But what really holds me back from trying is not that I feel I'll be hurting to leave them, but rather that they'd be hurting if I left. And then I hate myself for being so selfish, and wonder why anyone cares about me at all. I don't deserve it."

"That's not selfish."

Atem was quiet a moment. "What do you mean?"

"You just said you're more concerned about the feelings of others that your own. That's the exact opposite of being selfish. This disease makes you delusional. It keeps you captive in broken thought patterns."

Atem fell silent again. He stared out the window, puzzling over what Seto had just said. He'd never thought of it that way before. He wasn't sure if he was ready to believe him, but it certainly sounded nice to lay down his guilt.

When he began to recognize the cracked roads and broken windows of the buildings in his edge of the city, Atem rolled his head to the side and watched Seto drive in the fading light.

"What did you want to show me tonight that's so important?"

"You'll have to wait. We're almost to your place. Just hold on until we get inside."

"Was Jounouchi right?"

Though Jou hadn't gotten the full word out, everyone knew what he had been about to say.

Seto smirked.

"He could be, if that's what you want."

Atem didn't respond.

* * *

Seto led Atem by the hand up to his apartment and used his own key to unlock the door.

"I wish I could say it's a little off-putting how familiar you make yourself around here."

Seto eyed him. "But you can't, because…?"

Atem smirked. "Because I guess I kind of like it."

"That's what I thought," he smirked. Seto pushed the door open and gestured for Atem to go inside.

Atem's eyes were glued to Seto's face. The door swung on its hinges that always creaked, but this time had not. His gaze shot to the door as he realized this, and double checked the room number. But he knew doing so didn't make sense. If he was at the wrong door by mistake, Seto's key wouldn't have worked.

And then he saw the living room. The bare carpet was the first thing he noticed, and the bare sofa the next. Slowly he stepped into the room, pushing the door open a little as he did. The silent door seemed so strange, he pulled his hand away. Glancing around what he could see from the doorway, the apartment was unrecognizable.

Atem whirled around on Seto and shoved his chest.

"Is this why you wanted me to go out today?" he barked with intensity, but not volume. "So that you could babysit me while cleaning up my mess?"

"It may have been part of the reason," Seto agreed, "but I still wanted you to enjoy some time with your friends."

"I did not ask for this!"

Seto knew he wouldn't be gushing with pleasure, but wasn't sure he expected to be shoved.

"You never would. But how else can you get better if—"

"You don't get it, do you? Dirty dishes and a full garbage can aren't what's keeping me sick, so fixing them isn't going to make me better!"

"But it can help in the process," Seto insisted, keeping his calm. "Better than leaving things the way they were."

"I was handling it," Atem seethed.

"No, you were being consumed by it," Seto said sternly, but without raising his voice. The last thing Atem wanted, he knew, was the neighbors involved in his business.

"I still could have gotten it taken care of on my own."

"But you don't have to do everything on your own! Why won't you let me help you?"

A door opened somewhere down the hall, and an old woman shouted for them to keep it down.

Seto silently cursed but ignored the woman, who slammed her own door shut again.

"Maybe you should go, before we find out that my disease is contagious."

"Don't be absurd, Atem. You don't have to kick me out."

When Seto stepped forward Atem shook his head and backed away. Seto dropped the hand that had started reaching for him.

"Alright. I'll go. But I'll call you tomorrow."

Atem said nothing, but glared at Seto as he showed himself out.

Atem wandered through his apartment from room to room, beginning in the living room and venturing into the dining nook. All his possessions were cleaned and organized. Walking through the areas where he usually had to clear a path as he stepped now felt free and uncluttered.

He peeked into the kitchen before stepping over the threshold, but gasped when he saw the gleaming surfaces. The first item he noticed was the range, no longer caked with grease and crumbs. Then he ran a finger over the counter tops. The grime of casual use was gone, leaving him with the confidence that he could prepare food on the surface again, no longer needing to find a clean plate or cutting board or anything else just to use his counter.

As he ventured throughout the rest of the apartment, a weight slowly shifted off of him, like the peeling off of an old skin. He felt cleaner in his clean apartment than he had in months. His bedroom was the sweetest sight. A made-up bed with fresh, clean blankets lay before him—even though Seto had just changed the sheets.

His laundry baskets were empty and in a neat stack, which meant his clothes had to have been washed, folded and put away for him. He hated that a stranger was washing his clothes for him, but the feel of having floorspace not taken up by overflowing baskets was such a godsend that he couldn't find the energy to be mad about it.

He sat down on his bed, already feeling too dirty to get inside without a shower first, even if he did feel more clean than usual. But he allowed himself a moment to soak up the feeling of relief, until guilt began to press down on him. He pulled out his cell phone and dialed Seto's number.

"Kaiba," Seto answered, road noise in the background.

Atem let out a breath of laughter.

"I know you have a ring tone for my number. You know it's me before you answer, so why do you answer that way?"

"Force of habit. Would you rather me answer with something more like, 'Greetings, my sweet darling'?"

Atem chuckled, all while wrinkling his nose. "Please don't. Ever."

"As you wish."

"Really, Seto. It wouldn't be fitting. Honestly, I'm not that sweet to you."

"Don't you think we've argued enough for one night?"

Atem let out another breathy laugh, and went quiet.

"In any case," Seto went on, "I think you are. You like to start these miniature conversations with me when we're on the phone that have nothing to do with why you called, just to show that you've decided you're not mad anymore."

"Well, I… it's not like I'm doing that on purpose."

Seto chuckled. "What's on your mind?"

"I'm sorry."

"I don't need any apologies from you, so what's this for?"

"For going off on you when you were helping me. I love the apartment. I love how clean it is. I… I needed this."

"Then I'm happy it worked out."

"Did my friends know about this?"

"Yes. They needed to, in order to understand why they had to keep the visit going. It was in case you insisted on going home early."

"I'm really not in love with that, but, good grief. This place. It didn't look this good when I first moved in."

"That's because it could have used a cleaning then, too. The carpets and walls weren't in the best shape."

"Seto, thank you. And I'm sorry I made you leave."

"It was my pleasure to help you feel better. I accept your apology, but I mean it; I don't need one. I didn't expect you to act happy."

"That makes it even worse. You're expecting me to lash out at you for helping me? Why are you even with me if you know I'm that selfish."

"You are not selfish. After all the times I've watched you take lashings on your own back for the people around you, you make my efforts to protect Mokuba feel small. Don't let me hear you say that again."

"But it's not the same. I can fight for my friends all day long, but when it comes to what I want—"

"You're prideful. You want to take care of yourself. You don't want anyone else to have to take _your_ lashings for you, because you see it as your job to do it all yourself."

"Who are you describing here, me or you?"

"Exactly. That's why I understand what you're doing when you push me away for helping. But that's the same reason I push back and do it anyway. So, when you do lash out, I have no room to be insulted."

"Seto…"

"I'm pleased that you're happy about the apartment. If you notice that anything is out of place, broken or missing, let me know right away."

"Why?"

"It shouldn't be a problem. I've used this company for years. But just in case they've stolen or broken anything of yours, I want to be able to report it as soon as possible."

"Alright. So, I suppose it's too late for me to ask you to come back?"

Seto chuckled again. "I stayed in the parking lot for ten minutes. When you didn't call, I started driving around the block."

Atem brightened. "So, you're not that far?"

"I can be at your door in five minutes."

Atem grinned. "I'll leave it unlocked. I'll be in the shower."

* * *

The next morning Atem woke to an empty bed, but the other side was still warm. He rolled over and sprawled out. Having Seto in bed beside him was a wonderful feeling, but it would be even more wonderful if his bed was wide enough to accommodate two people comfortably. So Atem spread out while he could, until the scent of breakfast began to permeate the air.

Atem rose, robed, and ventured to the kitchen to find Seto juggling two full plates and a coffee mug.

Seto paused at the sight of him and offered a warm smile.

"Good morning. How did you sleep?" Seto asked.

"Well enough on that old mattress."

Seto left the room and placed the plates and mug on the table in the dining nook, then came back for the second mug. He busied himself with filling it with the cream and sugar Atem enjoyed.

"Don't tell me you wanted more. You already slept nearly nine hours."

"What can I say?" Atem asked with a shrug, snagging Seto and planting a kiss on his shoulder. "You wore me out."

Seto scoffed. "Right. But I did all the work." He picked up the mug and carried it to the table.

"Why not?" Atem asked, trailing after him. "You're so good at it."

Seto placed the mug at Atem's place and turned around just as Atem nestled into his arms.

"What have I told you about flattering me?"

"That you love it."

Seto grinned into Atem's hair, kissing the top of his head.

"That's right. Ready for breakfast?"

"You know you didn't have to do all this," Atem began to argue, but pulled his chair out and sat down anyway.

"Maybe not for you, but I'm hungry. Do you want me to starve just because you're content to lay in bed all morning?"

Atem let out an exaggerated sigh while he prepared his first bite. "Oh, I suppose not."

"That's what I thought," he said. He sipped his coffee.

"Did I really sleep nine hours?"

"Just about."

"You must have been restless waiting for me to wake up."

"Hence, your complete breakfast," Seto said with a nod and a wave of his hand, gesturing at the table.

"I don't understand where you get your energy. Sometimes I feel like you hardly sleep."

"Years of childhood abuse," Seto explained in a tone so light it didn't fit the words. "And my metabolism surely plays a role."

Despite himself, Atem laughed.

"This coffee is perfect," he said.

"The cleaning crew cleaned out the coffee maker, too. So not only are the dishes clean, but the coffee itself tastes better than it used to."

Atem took another sip before diving into his breakfast.

"Don't you have to be at work today?"

"I own the business. I can show up whenever I want and no one can fire me."

"Cute. But don't you have, you know, things to do?"

"I am doing things. I'm having breakfast with you."

Atem rolled his eyes. "Okay, but what about meetings, and… I don't know, quality control?"

"You think I'm part of quality control at my _international mega-corporation_?" Seto scoffed. "No. I hired the people who hired the people who do that, and I set the general standards they're to stick to, but that's as close as I get."

"You know what I mean," Atem said, nudging his shoulder. "All I'm asking is how long can you stay?"

"Do you even know what time it is?"

"I guess I didn't check when I got up."

"It's only half past seven."

"Is it really?"

Seto nodded. "I've been awake since five thirty. Even if I take my time here, I can make it in by nine. That's late by my usual standards, but by no means will it impact my usefulness to my subordinates, or my presence in meetings. I only go in early to have the office to myself so I can concentrate, before my phone starts ringing nonstop."

"So… you're planning to take your time?"

"We just sat down. Why are you already worrying about when I'll leave?"

"I don't know. I suppose I just want to know what to expect. I didn't plan on you staying all night. Does Mokuba know you're here?"

"Of course he does. You might not have planned on it, but I did."

"That's why you were circling the block last night? You were waiting for me to invite you back?"

"I told you I expected you to be upset with me. I also expected you to work through it in a matter of minutes. And you didn't disappoint."

Atem smiled and allowed the conversation to end. After breakfast, as he readied himself for the day, he found Jounouchi's application in his pocket. His face fell at first, but then he made himself unfold it. He scanned over the words briefly, then laid it atop his desk, the newly cleared surface lifting a weight off his shoulders.

* * *

A/N: Hey everyone!

I wish I could be more involved in this fandom still, if not writing and posting then at least reading more of the amazing stories I've found here. Honestly my life's pretty complicated lately. A few years ago some stuff challenged me, and my ability to post here regularly has never been the same. Sometimes life just doesn't stop. So, my excuses have a lot of reality to them. I will continue to work on whatever I can.

But coming up, I have a surgery, I'm starting *college* for *writing* (!) basically as soon as I'm recovered, and I'm also dealing with some stuff that's really derailing about every aspect of my life lately. That might not end any time soon.

However, the benefit of that nonsense, is that the nature of my struggle is what's driving me back here. I need the comfort of writing and the stability of familiar and well-loved characters, as well as readers and supporters. You guys are amazing and I love being part of this community. I can't promise how involved I'll be in the near future but I'm doing my best. I thank you endlessly for your patience.

~omgagr


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